Living your life means that you take responsibility for who you are and the choices you make. The other option is to sit passively while people and events happen to you.
How do you know which option you are living? If you find yourself saying “I have to” or “I must,” you are making the wrong decisions, or not making them at all. If you often resent others because they are “making you” do things, you need to start living your life.
Of course this sounds easier than it is. Living your life means you need to know yourself; it can mean choosing the difficult option because that is what you believe in; it means you have to be conscious of what you decide to do, even when you feel that there is nothing you can do.
Living your life does not mean that you will always be doing what you want, or have exactly the life that you wish for. It does not mean that you neglect your responsibilities or act in a self-centred way. It does mean that you make choices based on your values.
Values are not the same as principles, although they can overlap. A value is something that is important to you. Neatness is a value; to some it is important, to others less so. Success, wealth, security, learning, privacy, comfort, family, solitude—these are values. You may value some principles more than others. If you value solitude more than being social, you might choose not to accept invitations to social events; but if you value friendship highly, you might make the effort to attend at least some of the events.
If you value your reader’s time, you will get to the point (I say to myself) :-)
Some decisions need reflection. As always, I believe that Tarot cards are an excellent aid to reflection. They can also help you make decisions—not by “telling” you what to do, but by helping you reflect on your various options.
I designed this spread to cover important aspects when you have to decide between two actions. You are not limited to two options, of course; just add cards for positions 2 to 8 for each additional option.
When you use this spread, make notes on your thoughts for each of the options. Halfway through the spread, one option may start to look like the best one—don’t stop there! Each position in the spread can give you valuable information on the options at hand. More than that: each card in the spread can help you consider strengths and weaknesses in your position, not only the cards in the option you choose in the end. Think of the spread as a whole as “the cards you’ve been dealt,” and then how to play them.
For example, look at where the majors fall in the spread. Could these considerations be the most important? And which option is emphasized by majors? Is there a predominance of one suit in one of the options, or the absence of a suit, and can this help you discover whether one option is perhaps dominated by emotion (Cups), or rational thought (Swords)? Can you find any significance in the suit or number of the corresponding cards for each option? Look at the number of reversed cards (if you use them), major arcana cards and court cards. Consider the energy in each option. Passive or active? Passionate or cool? Emotional or thoughtful?
The more you play with these cards, the better your chances of making the most effective choice.
- Option A / Option B
- The most important thing to consider
- Best thing that can happen if I choose this option
- Worst thing that can happen if I choose this option
- What motivates me to choose this option?
- What I want to happen
- What will probably happen if I choose this option
- What might happen if I don't make a choice? (Sometimes choosing not to choose can be a good option.)