Suddenly domestically challenged

Fixing a bra hook

Washing machines can be hard on bra hooks.

The hooks tend to catch onto other clothing and then bend. I've tried putting bras in a mesh laundry bag—ideal for stockings or lacy panties. I tried making a point of folding the ends into the cups. But no, the bras keep on hooking onto other clothes.

My solution for a perfectly good daily-ware bra with one or more kooks missing—rendering the bra useless—is to keep replacement hooks in my sewing kit.

When the unfortunate happens, I remove the broken hook by opening the end of the bra's fastening strap just enough to get the broken hook out and insert a new hook—small jewellery-making pliers works well to pull the broken hook or bits of hooks out (it is important to remove all the pieces, a leftover piece of hook become most uncomfortable when wearing the bra). I then sew the new hook into position and sew up the opening. Voila, good for use again!

Tip: do not wash your (her) special lingerie in the washing mashing, rather let them soak a little in a bowl with lukewarm water and detergent, and wash them gently by hand. Alternatively wash them on a gentle washing machine cycle with other delicates. (You will be in big trouble if her delicate lingerie is spoiled). Do not hang the delicates on the washing line either, let them dry on a towel.

When looking for pictures to illustrate this post I came across something I've never seen, which is such a wonderful idea: armpit snap shields. Visit the URL for more information on disposable and washable armpit shield—they absorb sweat, keep the individual comfortable, as well as save time and money on dry-cleaning.

OMG I have to take this thingy home with me

There is this moment, many first-time young mothers (and sometimes supportive husbands) experiences when the excitement of the new born baby momentarily disappears; the moment when the nurse hands over the infant and the parents realise with horror "oh my God, she's going to send this home with me and I have no idea what I am going to do" (idea taken from Gilbert, 2010: 112).

Babies are fragile little things, but in under normal circumstances require tender love and care (TLC) and lots of patience:

• Feeding (breast or/and bottle) in accordance to their routine, which initially implies in the middle of the night and early morning hours
• Burping after feeding
• Clean, dry nappies, which means changing some time after feeding—keeping their sensitive skins well moisture and avoid any nappy burn
• Careful handling, supporting their little heads
• Bathing, drying, powdering and clothing
• Playing and stimulation—attention
• Neither cold or too warm
• When they are crying trying to figure out what the matter is and resolving the problem
• When they teething they are miserable and need extra care, possibly pain medication for infants, and extra care to prevent nappy burn

Looking at the list above it should be obvious why mothers become exhausted. Dads can help by taken over the burping after breast feeding is done; by doing the nappy changes when at home; by washing the baby clothes, dry and fold them for re-use; and by making dinner, own lunch box or bathing baby.

Gilbert, Elizabeth. 2010. Committed. London: Bloomsbury.

Buying groceries

People differ! One person's preference is another's nightmare. My beloved Martie bought these books on how to be organised and then becomes depressed that she cannot be as organised as prescribed. I keep on telling her "darling, relax, that is not how you do things". Before buying that book or trying that magazine article on how to organise your life, get to know yourself. What makes you tick? Another person's mess might be your happy place.

I've many times took my mother-in-law buying her necessities. With her walker (three-wheeler) she would take off in this direction and then in that direction, driving me nuts. I prefer starting at the far end of the supermarket, consulting my shopping-list every so often, snaking through the isles—doing the fridge and freezer lanes last.

As teenager, I made my parents a paper-roll grocery note-board: I took a rectangular piece of wood, sanded and varnished it; I took piece of steel wire that I bent in a square, with part of one side missing—secured the horizontal side on top with U-shape pins into the wood and inserted over the bottom horizontal side a role of calculator/cash register paper. I allowed below the roll sufficient space for writing and at the bottom end of the plank I mounted a horizontal strip of metal to serve both to hold the loose-end the paper roll and to tear off. I mounted on the side a clip to hold a pencil and at the bottom a paper-clip to hold pieces of paper. About 35 years later, I salvaged the grocery-list feature from my parents' retirement unit when my mother moved into an old-age home (my father passed away about four years ago).

What works well for us, is to record items as they need to be replenished and to take this list along when doing shopping. We used to list on square paper pieces and keep the list in a cube-clip (we have now converted to the paper-roll). When I go grocery shopping—usually once a week—I take the list with and further use my discretion. I would replenish basics (such as eggs, cheese, self raising flower, etc.) and look at the vegetables in season and buy variety. I further by fish, chicken and occasionally red meat. Then there are the regulars, such as yogurt, milk, salad ingredients and fresh fruit.

Martie has many times suggested that we draw up a menu for each week and then buy groceries accordingly. However sound this idea, we never do get round to execute the idea. I prefer the notion of a selection in the fridge and cupboards—when dinner time, I would look in the fridge and decide what to cook. I try to make sure we eat a balanced diet. When entertaining, I would give consideration to the menu and make sure a buy what is needed.

When you have small children, make sure you buy child-friendly food, but check the ingredients. Remember to buy suitable provisions for lunch boxes, etc. I always felt is better to have a small supply of treats hidden in the cupboards than having the mission out when treats are called for.

When on a tight budget, it is best to upfront decide what is necessary and then only buy those items.

On the domestic front

Reflecting on domestic matters I realised just how fast the scope is for a person suddenly confronted with life's realities.

• For starters there are daily matters such as eating for sustenance—as well as relatively balanced and healthy; dressing for work; cleaning up and getting all the members of the household where they ought to be for the day. At the end of the day, it is the reverse and getting to bed for rest for another day. Unpacking this daily scenario could involve quite a bit:
  • Buying groceries to have supplies in the cupboards and fridge/freezer in order to make food.
  • Daily cooking and food preparation, including possibly also packing lunch boxes.
  • Washing up the dishes and readying the space for another daily routine.
  • Clothes do not just happen to be available, they require laundering, some ironing, folding, etc.
  • Dirty clothes do not sort themselves out; a certain routine of possibly a laundry catchment is needed.
  • Personal cleaning and hygiene require attention and supplies.
  • Bedding needs cleaning; and so does the entire living space.
  • Household refuse need to be removed (and possibly put out in the street on certain days) and if you are environmentally conscious you would endeavour to recycle what is feasible.
• When there are children it complicates daily routines substantially, especially when they are small (or bigger, but spoilt):
  • A baby could make substantial inroads on the life of parents.
  • They need help getting dressed and with managing their time to ready themselves.
  • Children get homework that parents are suppose to check; projects they need help with or just seeing it gets done and need to take things to school, which they inevitably forget.
  • Children have not yet developed the ability to sort out their own clothing needs; often discovering when they need to get dressed something is missing.
  • Bath-time could require supervision, as well as ensuring they go to bed early enough to get a good night's sleep.
  • Children crave attention to develop their own personalities and when not given claim it through mischief, either way they absorb time. Unfortunately children do also get sick as part of growing up.
  • Children are encouraged to partake in sport and extramural activities for their own development, all which require effort and sacrifice on the part of their parents or guardians.
• The daily rat-race may not allow for bigger domestic undertakings, meaning that a weekend-routine might be necessary, for example:
  • Doing all the week's washing; but also cope with challenging conditions, such as rain for days on end.
  • Cleaning the living space.
  • Buying groceries.
  • But provision also needs to be made for sport or other activities of children.
• The scope of housework may necessitate the need for help, which introduce further complications, such as:
  • Contracting domestic worker/s.
  • Dealing with the rights of domestic worker/s.
  • Accommodate illness, leave and time off required for personal matters.
• The time constraints of daily or weekly living may require occasional spring cleaning activities, such as:
  • Defrost and clean the freezer
  • Washing windows and curtains.
  • Washing carpets.
  • Cleaning out cupboards, sorting out filing and declutter.
• Vehicles do not keep running year-in-and-year-out, they also require servicing.
• In the crime festered environment we live in, security measures and a contract with a security company might be a necessity.
• Then there is home, vehicle and life insurance.
• Not to forget medical aid matters, possibly chronic medication, pension and other provision for old age.
• Living space requires maintenance, regardless if you live in rented space, a sectional title scheme or free hold. This may include:
  • Replacement of light bulbs, washers of taps, etc.
  • Fixing broken electrical accessories, iron cables, bath/basin plug chains, etc.
  • Painting and varnishing.
  • Unblocking drains, etc.
  • Replacement of the geyser element.
  • Occasionally some pests might need control.
  • Appliances only have a certain lifetime, after which they require constant repairs or replacement.
• You may love gardening or just enjoy a few plants:
  • Flower boxes or gardens need watering, weeding, pest control, etc.
  • Lawns need mowing and edges trimming.
  • Plants need occasional pruning or shaping.
  • Seasonal plants need to be removed when dead and new ones planted.
  • Gardening equipment need maintenance.
• If you have children, their recreational equipment might need maintenance or repairs:
  • Bicycles get punctures, brakes need adjustment, saddles adjustment as children grow, occasional lubrication, etc.
  • Toys brake requiring repairs.
• If you have a pool, the pool needs cleaning; leaves and other debris removed; the chemical levels maintained; the filter to be maintained, etc.
• Life is not just about the mundane; there is also recreation, entertainment, etc. which form part of the domestic front.

My idea is to develop over time a range of blog posts to serve as a reference site with regard to as many as possible for the items listed and more that crop up along the way.