Pro-Egalitarian

Clothes don't cause rape, rapists do!

The title of this post is Amanda Marcotte's words in Sluts, Walking (Bussel, 2012: 1-7) as she explains, to drive the point of 'SlutWalks' home. Mid-2011 several SlutWalks were held globally to counter Michael Sanguinetti's advice to women to avoid being raped by not "dressing like sluts". In contrast, women (should) have the right "to do what they want without being punished" (p. 3) through methods "of putting women in their place".

• Women do have the right (place) to "sexual playfulness in the public space" (p. 4)
• Women have the right to expect "If I am out on the town wearing a cute minidress, I expect that I'll get a lot of indifference, some men thinking I look good, some men thinking that I want to be attractive, some men thinking I enjoy feeling sexy, some men flirting--and some men thinking, 'I wouldn't wear those shoes with that dress'. I expect men to be. Happy they live in a world where people have fun and exude sexual enrgy, because I believe sex is pleasurable and good and that a little more sexual in energy in the world tends to improve the fun we have at home." (p. 5)
• Women have the right to expect that when a man thinks she is sexy, the man would not degrade and devalue her -- if he does, "he is the one who has forfeited his right to be treated with respect, not the woman he claims that provoked him" (p. 6).
• Women have the right to expect "when a man flouts the rules of morality and decency and harass or assaults a women" (p. 6), such as man is treated "like the raving douchebag he is, and bring criminal charges where applicable".

Marcotte concludes that "all SlutWalk is asking is that the same opportunities be offered to women" (p. 7).

Marcotte, M. 2012. Sluts, Walking. In Rachel Kramer Bussel (ed). 2012. Best sex writing 2012 -- the state of today's sexual culture. Berkley, CA: Cleis Press.

Female-initiated prevention of exchange of bodily fluids

Every womyn should be in the position to exercise her right to pregnancy prevention (control over her sexual and reproductive health) and to initiate protection against sexually transmittable infections (STIs) and sexually transmittable diseases (STDs). Due to biological vulnerabilities and deeply entrenched gendered power imbalances, women are at risk. Nearly two decades ago a Danish physician invented the female condom (FC), which has been available in Europe since 1992 and approved by the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) in 1993. The launched of the female condom Care, provides women in South Africa since 1998 with a product of their own for protection during sex. However, for most South African women FC remains a mystery. Download Hunt_on_for_elusive_female_condom

The female condom is one of three barrier methods, a "technical term used for products that are aimed at preventing the exchange of bodily fluids (e.g., semen, vaginal secretions, blood etc) between people". The FC covers the inside of the vagina, and a man's ejaculate is collected inside the sheath or pouch, keeping the sperm out of the vagina. However, it is the only method that womyn may self-initiate or control. The other methods include male latex condoms and male polyurethane condoms—both dependent on the male-partner's willingness to make use of.

Barrier methods have been found to significantly reduce risks of STIs, including HIV, when used correctly and consistently.

The makers of the original female condom announced in 2005 achievement of a long sought after goal, the 2^nd generation (FC2), a female condom that is affordable and user-friendly. It has the same design, but is made of nitrile (which is not only cheaper to produce, but also more quiet when used) and large scale production began in 2007. A third version, the VA Condom Feminine—made of latex, has since been developed but is not yet FDA approved. The FC2

The Rape-aXe—the anti-rape condom—is a revolutionary product, developed by Dr Sonnet Ehlers in 2005. The idea originated from a rape victim's words: "If only I had teeth down there!" After witnessing the trauma and devastation of sexual assaults, Dr Sonnet Ehlers was determined to do something. Rape-aXe is worn like a tampon by a woman who wants to protect herself against rape.

When penetration occurs without the woman's consent, razor-sharp barbs on the inside of the sheath attach themselves to the man's penis. It is extremely painful and the Rape-aXe can only be removed surgically.

Unlike the film 'Teeth', about a myth-like female condition of “Vagina Dentata“ the Rape-aXe is real.

Everything he can do she can do better

Remember, Ginger Rogers did everything Fred Astaire did, but backwards and in high heels.  ~Faith Whittlesey

A women's right over her own body

A basic right all women (should) have, is the right to decide if she wants to have sex or not. Praba Moodley writes in Follow your heart, page 39 (emphasis added), "Krishna never claimed his husbandly rights [privilages, I'd prefer] from her without her concent. Sakeera would always leave her waist-length black hair free as a sign that she was prepared to receive him in her arms. When she had her hair in a plait it meant she was not to be touched intimately and Krishna would abide by her wishes like a true gentleman." 

Open communication about desires is preferable, but if not, on a lighter note make use of one of these:

Other options include:

Pillow cases  

A reversable nightie

A reversable eye mask