The Kubler Ross change/transition curve is well known. Will the 'relationship curve' also gain popularity? In a very interesting article, Taylor Roberts (2010) explores the stages through which most love relationships progresses. The article acknowledges that both psychologists Berverley Marcus and Janne Dannerup point out that although couples negotiate relationships uniquely; they typically evolve "along similar lines".
Emotional intensity
Time
Stage 1: The prowling lion
Most relationships start off with either party prowling: from subtle flirting and exchanging glances to contemplating the idea of a becoming a couple and exchanging contact details. It is perfectly okay in the 21st century that the lioness does the hunting.
Stage 2: The preening peacock
The dating or perusal stage follows, involving lots of parading of qualities, appearance and possessions in order to get to know and secure your mate. This stage is often marked by insecurity and uncertainty until a relationship is formed.
Stage 3: The randy rabbit
When a couple start seeing each other exclusively they are usually easy and spontaneous with one another. It is a euphoric stage and both are usually on their best behaviour. It is perfectly normal to be frequently passionate.
Stage 4: The crotchety crocodile
Euphoria dissipates as reality sets. The safety instilled in stage 3 let partners lower their guard and expose their true self. Snapping at each other and reduced intimacy are perfectly normal. Disagreements occur and there are disappointments and anxiety. It is important to remember that the attraction of opposites is now causing the disillusionments. This stage represents the turning point of either securing a sound relationship or braking up.
Stage 5: The cuddly koala
If the couple survived the previous stage, the time has now arrived to build a real connection and a true relationship. It is normal for a couple to treasure their shared intimacy and spend more time with each other. However, psychologists caution about potential hibernation (or becoming boring bears). They emphasise the importance of balance and to retain own identity, in addition to the identity as a couple.
Stage 6: The partnered penguin
Although contemporary research suggest that the established view of penguins paring for life might be wrong, it remains a romantic notion. Stage 6 is about maturity of a relationship, where the mate's shortcomings are accepted and fantasy made room for true love. Long-term togetherness introduces different kind of challenges, but that is another 'curve'.
Roberts, T. 2010. Animal Magnetism. Cosmopolitan, 27(6), August 2010, 82-85.